Abbey & Oliver ♥ | Modern Mummy

Wednesday, 4 September 2013

Abbey & Oliver ♥


So it goes like this...we had been together 9 1/2 years, we always knew we would want to get married at some point. We really struggled with the idea of a "wedding" we simply wanted a marriage. We wanted to buy a house, and couldn't justify using the money towards a wedding when it would take it away from a house. 

Weddings are SO expensive and to be honest neither of us wanted it. I've never dreamt of my dream day, and dream dress etc I didn't want to pay a fortune for other people to eat and dance when it simply was something we would be doing for other people. 

So, when my other half was about to turn 30 he suggested we marry on his 30th birthday. This was easy enough to sort out. We booked a ceremony at Skipton registry office (mainly because they do a £49 "simple ceremony" on a weekday morning!) And we went to register our intent at our local registry office in Huddersfield. Very easy! 

The issue was, who to be witnesses!? We couldn't choose any family members as we only needed witnesses and if we picked family members from one side we'd feel obliged to start inviting people. We originally wanted to get witnesses off the street but when we thought about it we weren't guaranteed to actually get any on the day and it would be wasted. So we asked a lovely couple we knew who our other friends don't know and most of family don't either. 

For 6 weeks we kept it secret. I had to be so careful. People at work would talk about weddings etc, I'd get the usual "when are you 2 going to do it?" And I'd have to be really careful not to slip up. I so wanted to tell people, but to tell some and not others wouldn't be fair. 

So the day came, we got up as we normally would and got ready. Each of us watching the baby while the other got ready. I'd bought a gorgeous 50s style navy dress, I didn't want a wedding dress, but something special that I could wear again. For once my hair and make up went right! It was all very relaxed! We even stopped for a mcdonalds breakfast on the way as we were starving! Imagine eating a mcdonalds in your wedding dress! Classy I tell you! 

The registry office asked if we wanted an entrance!? Erm no I said, as little fuss as possible please. So we just waited until they were ready and then we were there...just about to be man and wife! 

I held my daughter all the way through (as she kept pulling at my necklace shouting sparkly!) We said our vows, which really did mean a lot, as probably the only traditional wedding type thing about the whole day. There you have it! We were married! We had a few badly lit photos and off we went. 

We found a gorgeous gastro pub down the road and had a slap up meal. We all had whatever we liked and as much as we liked. We sat and chatted for a few hours and filled our tummys, honestly it was the perfect wedding meal. 

We then went home for a little nap, before thinking of how we would break the news to family! 

Well, as it was my new husbands birthday his family naturally wanted to see him. So we said we would go round when his sister and parents were together, when we arrived they started asking "where have you been all dressed up" hubby said "oh just to Skipton to get married!" We were met with squeals and congratulations! His mother said she thought she would be disappointed if we ever got married and she wasn't there, but she said she was totally surprised and just happy we had done it how we wanted to. Which summed it up for us, if anyone was going to be unhappy then it was their issue not ours. We had done what we wanted to do and isn't that what a wedding is about? 

It got so late I had to tell my own mother by phone. She was very happy (and shocked too!) and also very glad we had done what we wanted and not for other people. Then we had to break it to friends etc so I sent out a mass text message so everyone got it at the same time. All night we had replies of congratulations, although I didn't answer any calls as I didn't really want to spend all night on the phone saying the same tale over and over again. 

We both had a few days off afterwards and spent them doing family days out. Just perfect! 

We've now been married a few months and we are both very happy with how we did it. We see others getting stressed planning their weddings and it taking months and months and the costs getting bigger and bigger. We love a good wedding and I love sharing others days with them, but it just wasn't for us. Plus I can wear my wedding dress at my friends civil ceremony in the Autumn!!

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Abbey blogs at The Mummy in Me and you can follow her on Twitter here.xoxo
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3 comments

  1. Good for you. We married with just our 4 children and witnesses resent. It was intimate and perfect.

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  2. Good for you :-)
    We had a huge party and paid for peoples meals that I hadn't seen since I was a kid and haven't seen since. If I was to do it again I would only invite close family. Like you said sometimes we spend too much time trying to please others rather than pleasing ourselves :-)
    www.mummytoddlersandtantrums.com

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  3. Such a lovely wedding! This is exactly how my parents did it (I was present, in utero) and my mum has never regretted it. She wore a navy dress too, and they're still married 30 years later-so maybe its good luck!?! Beautiful picture too!

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