Divorce, Independence + Home Sweet Home | Modern Mummy

Wednesday, 23 September 2015

Divorce, Independence + Home Sweet Home


During the summer I got divorced. I briefly touched on it in various blog posts and photo captions on Instagram but I haven't talked about it in great detail because I don't I want something that personal posted all over the Internet. But the fact of the matter is that it happened; we separated last November and the Decree Absolute arrived in July. And the girls and I are doing OK.

The last eleven months have been a real learning curve for me. It has not been an easy or pleasant time but I've tried my hardest to be upbeat and positive for the girls' sake and to keep things as normal and familiar as possible for them both. Prior to the separation I was home alone with them the majority of the time anyway - so me suddenly being the only adult in the house 24/7 wasn't a massive change for any of us. Our days are busy and fast paced, but they always have been and we like it like that.

The biggest thing for me was becoming financially independent so that I was in a position to take over the mortgage on our family home. I wanted the girls to be able to stay in the house they have been brought up in, in the area they have grown to know and love, so with that in the forefront of my mind I decided to take on more work so that I could buy my ex-husband out. Before I started looking for mortgages, I used Experian CreditExpert to check my credit rating, firstly to check whether I would be able to get a mortgage at all - and then so that I knew the kind of rates I'd be eligible for. Then I got myself a mortgage broker and a conveyancing solicitor, and left them to do all the hard work. This has been such a huge thing for me - I had no idea whether or not I'd be able to do it on my own, and it has been a long and stressful process that is *hopefully* finally coming to an end now. We all love our house and I'm so happy that we are able to stay in it and the girls can have that stability in their lives.

The house still needs a lot of work doing to it, so I guess the next step in me becoming fully independent is learning some basic DIY skills (my current 'tool box' consists of a tape measure, an allen key from Ikea and a Philips screwdriver). So far my lovely Dad has been helping me out and to be honest that suits me just fine for now! ;) I have, however, mastered the art of going to the tip. Going to the tip is EMPOWERING! I LOVE filling up the car with recycling and throwing various bits and pieces into the relevant skips! I'd never done it until I got divorced (funnily enough, the first thing I had to dump was the frame of our matrimonial bed) and it is now one of my favourite things to do.

Yes, I know, I'm easily pleased. But I'm easily pleased and gaining my independence. And that makes me happy!


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