Wednesday, 13 July 2016
When the Tooth Fairy forgets to visit
Last night I committed the WORST.PARENT.FAIL.EVER. I forgot to carry out tooth fairy duties.
Daisy came stumbling in to my room this morning looking devastated, with the baby tooth that had fallen out yesterday in her hand. 'She didn't come!' she cried. (And I mean she actually cried).
'HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE?!' I thought, as I realised the seriousness of the situation. A look of sheer panic must have spread across my face as my little angel child said 'Nevermind, Mummy, maybe she'll come tonight' with the saddest expression you've ever seen.
I was going to hell.
I knew I shouldn't have stayed up binge watching Gilmore Girls last night. Or had that third glass of wine.
I had to think fast.
I told Daisy to go and get into my bed while I put the tooth back into the pocket of her tooth fairy pillow. In actual fact I put a shiny £2 coin in (£2!!!!! ...... guilt money), put the pillow back in her room and kept the tooth myself.
And then I did something I've not done since I used to work in wealth management in the West End, pre-children. I told five lies before 7am.
But it's still NIGHT TIME! She can't have got to us yet!
It's summertime, it's stays light late at night and get light early in the morning - HONESTLY! It's still NIGHT TIME!
She'll still be doing her rounds, I bet we're last on the list - this is your seventh tooth to fall out after all, she probably does all the first teeth first.
Oh no no no, it's not really 6.45am - that clock is broken!
[Told after Daisy lay down in my bed for about two and a half minutes with her eyes closed] WAKE UP! It's MORNING! You've been asleep for ages!
Somehow I got away with it. But bloody hell that was close!
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